Die Die! Zombies!
by Pandaren-storyteller
Summary: Aliester and Laura decide to have a little game. The place: Academy city, The time: Saturday, October 28 at midnight, The Type: survival, and the players? Why Touma and the gang of course! Grab your blankets and popcorn and come on in! Full Summary inside


**Hey all! Just like to give this fic a shot. Been meaning to try it out. I'm not too confident in making a crack fic nor am I sure if it'll turn up funny rather than serious so be nice with the reviews please. Well, without further ado here we go!**

**story type: **multi-chapter  
**pairing: **none  
**Summary: **Aliester and Laura decide to have a little game. The place: Academy city, The time: Saturday, October 28 at midnight, The Type: survival, and the players? Why Touma and the gang of course! Grab your blankets and popcorn! Hold on to your pistols and shotguns as you enter a ride filled with none-stop action, dancing zombies, Laughter and a very overpowered hand! Crack-fic.

**Title: _"Die die! Zombies!!"_**

**Phase 1: Preparation**

* * *

The moon, bright and majestic, sat watching over the world. And at a certain part of earth, particularly at a mansion of an Archbishop, it's light shined the brightest. While the illuminated flowers of a garden danced along with the tree's leaves, the evening winds playfully teased a girl's golden hair; letting it flow gently in midair.

"I can never get tired of this view…" Sighed the girl.

She stood over a wide veranda looking up at the see of stars that lay strewn across the blackened sky. Her small smile and carefree gazing eyes appeared content at the silence that reigned over her domain. This was one of those pleasant times in her life that truly filled her with adoration for living in total luxury.

"I guess that's enough for tonight."

Laura Stuart, the star-gazing girl, gave one last look of the view before returning to the confines of her warm room leaving her evening activity for another time. Carefully crossing the carpeted flooring, the girl sat herself at a comfortably cushioned chair facing an elegantly designed wooden drawer with an oval shaped mirror. And with refined movements, that only a noble would posses, Laura lifted up a brush and began with her ritual. Humming a song she combed her hair while admiring her own beauty. She continued to do this till her interruption.

**Tok! Tok! Tok!**

The girl's smile slightly windened upon hearing a visitor at this late of an hour.

"Come in." She spoke out never ceasing to stop her combing.

With a tiny click the door gently opened. A tall man with red hair and red eyes encompassed in black clothing entered. The visitor strode forward with a hint of urgency and knelt down before speaking.

"Archbishop-sama," He began. "I apologize for intruding in this current hour, but I have an important message for you."

Placing her hair brush gently down, Laura shifted to her side allowing her to face him. She was disappointed to see that the same subordinate that have served her for so long never had a change in style. The boy still had the barcode etched on his skin, bellow the right eye, and the numerous accessories that was on his person. Things like rings of many variations and style and a necklace with a cross easily caught her sky-blue eyes.

"Ah, Stiyl! No need for such title." Laura said with a slight giggle. "After all this is not a workplace."

The man, now known as Stiyl, let out an audible sigh at her friendliness. "As you wish."

Nodding happily the girl continued. "Wonderful! Now what is it that you have for me?"

Reaching in his inner pockets Stiyl brought out a small folded paper and a pink cell-phone for her to take. "These came to us via the mail a few minutes ago. It appears that it's from Aleister Crowley of Academy City."

Blinking at the two objects the archbishop tilted her head in curiosity. "Aliester you say… hmm…"

Unfolding the paper she began to skim through the written text within. It took her no more than a minute before folding it back up and placing it down on the dresser. She then turned to the awaiting Stiyl and held the cell-phone out.

"Would you mind helping me with this contraption?" She asked politely.

The man complied and stood up from his position to help. "What is it that you need?"

"I need to send a message to Aleister through something called 'texting.'" She then quickly added. "I've done it before, I know, but I'm afraid I'm still rather incompetent in its use."

"Fair enough Laura-sama." Sighed the man.

The girl gave him a light smack on the arm. "Oh Stiyl, how many more times do I need to have you understand? Just call me Laura. I don't care much for formalities here."

Being drowsy from paper work prior to this urgent meeting with his leader, Stiyl once again nodded robotically. Better to go along with everything and leave out any objections to suppress the creeping stress of his. He just wanted to get this whole thing over with so that he can retire for the night. It was pretty late after all, around 11:40 p.m.

"Yes, Laura." He replied. "My apologies."

"Good! Now catch!" With that warning the girl carelessly threw the cell phone at a random direction.

Surprised, Stiyl fumbled in catching the object. The trajectory however, was way beyond his range and thus he had to perform a quick dive-and-roll action in order to secure the item. He then threw a glare at his superior for her lack of concern for the technology. It probably cost quite a lot in Japanese standards since the design of it was different than the usual flip-up phones.

"Now then…" Laura returned Stiyl's scowl with her smile. "Please send this message to him."

"Laura-sa… Laura." He caught himself. "Please don't casually toss these things." He gestured at the cell-phone he held. "And I thought that you needed my help? Not me doing the work! This is _not _helping you!!"

"Oh, but you are helping." She said. "Since I lack the skill that you've most likely possess by now I'll just have you do it for me!"

Stiyl was close to losing his composure at each passing second. Though, when he thought about it more, his superior was unfortunately correct. He'll let her go this time since it'll take far longer if he were just to 'help' her with a simple text message. Taking the faster way was much easier… no matter how much he wanted to scold and have his leader do the work instead.

"Fine…" Grumbled Stiyl. He opened the phone and began to set up the text. The boy was thankful that the cell-phone's design was like that of a computer keyboard thus making texting simple. "Alright, what is the message?"

Laura then began to pace back and forth while giving her subordinate her reply to Aleister's message.

"Dear, Aliester… It's so good to hear from you! How come you never say 'hi' as much?"

"Umm.. Laura…" Stiyl interrupted. "Can you please slow down? And skip the pleasantries!"

"Now, Now Stiyl!" The 18-year-old girl shook her left index finger at him. "Texting is much like composing a letter so one must need to start with pleasantries."

_I can grasp the whole 'how are you doing?' thing, but adding the 'dear' is a bit… _"Oh bother! Alright! Just please get to the point!"

"Such impatience…" The girl pouted.

"Laura-sama…"

"And there you go with the formalities again!" She gave a disappointed sigh. "Really now…"

"… The message…"

"Ah yes, sorry! Where was I?" Stopping, the girl took on a thinking pose; scrunching her face in the process. "Oh dear, I think I lost my train of thought…"

Stiyl groaned at this.

"Oh well! Lets start from the beginning again!" She cheerfully said. "Dear Aleister… how have you been? Care to have a tea party sometime when you're not too busy? We'll have some tasty chocolates!"

That did the trick. Having had enough with his leader's banter and overall behavior, Stiyl dropped the cell-phone and held out his hands. The rings adorning his fingers gleamed wickedly from the light of the room. And as his eyes narrowed a chant began.

"I've been doing quite well here in my mansion at the Britain province." And poor Laura Stuart was still too busy with her ordering to look upon the dark aura surrounding her servant. "It's quite nice here I dare say! You should come for a visit sometime."

Fire was created from nothing upon Stiyl's outstretched hand. It's burning energy took shape, steadily and grew tall. The flames continued to gather and grow till it began to furiously roar with power. Once completed he began to take menacing steps upon the unsuspecting girl.

"Ah! But then again I think I would rather visit your wonderful city." And then she squealed girlishly. "I wonder if they have new products back there."

"Laura-sama."

"Hmm? Yes, Stiyl? Do you wan-" The girl let out an 'eep' as she shuffled away. "S-Stiyl! Put that away."

Laura trembled slightly when the boy did not obey her. The flaming crossed shaped sword he held continued to approach her with hunger. She was even more surprised when she saw the look on her subordinates face; pure malice!

"Kyaa!!"

And so the chase began around the room with Laura running frantically in an effort to elude her current pursuer. Swinging the giant flaming cross-sword, Stiyl started firing a rapid-chain of insults at her. The girl didn't pay much heed and instead ran towards her bed where she took up an elevated position.

"Now just stop right there!" She cried out. "You wouldn't ruin this bed now, would you?"

"…" The boy stopped at the foot of the bed and gazed up at her emotionlessly.

His flaming weapon soon lowered, but did not vanish.

"Alright, good!" Laura sighed in relief.

"ARRRH!!!" Stiyl suddenly roared out causing Laura to scream as well.

A moment later the girl had to jump off the mattress as Stiyl set it on fire.

"Noooo! My bed!" Laura cried out. Her lips trembled as she looked up at him. "You're horrible, Stiyl!!"

"Horrible?!" A vein throbbed from the fire-users head. "I'll show you something even more horrible, you!!"

"Ahh! Wait, not again!!"

The chase and chaos thus continued. Laura kept dodging and tripping when she could while Stiyl continued to try and take his leader's life as punishment. At some point the girl retaliated by throwing whatever objects within her reach at the mage while shouting with comical tears. On more than one occasion, the mage was hit in the head and was now bleeding profusely . Much of the room was set ablaze during their violent excursion while objects of sorts were scattered messily on the floor.

"AHH!! That hurt!!" He yelled.

"Well, it's your fault! You started this!" Laura yelled back.

After much commotion and a better part of the room practically a mess, the two held up white flags in a ceasefire. This eventually marked the end of their mayhem and the beginning of their backbreaking labor. The two, Archbishop and mage, looked around and sighed in unison. It was clean up time.

"Stiyl, please put out the fire." The girl ordered softly.

Without a word the fire mage lifted up a hand and snapped two fingers together. The flames that hungrily devoured the room disappeared in a flash leaving bitter burnt ashes and remains of items behind. When properly observed, the room was more than a mess… it was destroyed! More than 2/3 of the room was black in color and the carpet they stood on had black spots with an occasional charred object or two lying about.

So in some sense… the room was not worth cleaning…

Inspecting herself the Archbishop couldn't help but let out a giggle. This in turn caused the man before her to glance up…

…Only to look away with a red face afterwards…

He had done more than enough damage to his leader, then he had expected. Laura's night gown, once white in color and modestly fitting, was now reduced to a short skirted version with the sleeves burnt up to the shoulders and the skirt far too revealing. Both her cream colored skin and a tiny view of her white undergarments were the main attraction!

Laura looked up at her blushing servant and playfully teased him while placing an index finger to her lower lip.

"Oh Stiyl… I didn't know you had such lewd desires for me."

If the mage was once pink in the face before now he was red as an apple. He even faltered at her statement and temporarily forgotten his wound. But as quickly as his embarrassment arose so to did his retort.

"I-I would never! T-this just pure coincidence!" He shot at her with volumes raised. "Besides, I wouldn't have to punish you if you hadn't been playing around!"

"But I was _not _'playing around'," Laura insisted. "I was simply starting the letter like I would usually do!"

"Text Message." Stiyl corrected.

"Yes, however you call it!"

Shaking his head the mage quickly recovered the untouched cell-phone and held it up. "Whatever! Let's just get this done, Laura-sama."

The girl fumed at the title once more before seriously agreeing with him.

For the next 2 minutes they both coordinated and composed the text-message: Stiyl doing the texting and Laura giving the proper words. The message was sent and the mage was finally relieved of his duty. Now he could forget about this incident for tonight and deal with it tomorrow. The prospect of sleep was so welcoming now-- not to mention it was something he seriously needed and was lacking of.

"Stiyl?" Laura's voice broke the boy's pleasurable thoughts of sleep.

"Yes?"

"Please organize another room for me." She said while heading out the door. She also unintentionally gave Stiyl a bit of service while bending down to recover a cute stuffed bunny laying on the floor. "I'll be taking a bath in the mean time! Ta ta!"

And with those words she left the room, merrily humming to herself.

_Oh dear lord!_ The blushing boy prayed. _Why have I gotten her for a leader? Why?!_

"Oh Stiyl!" The girl called out once more from the hallway. "Be a gentleman and fetch my bathing accessories as well! Particularly that one toy… Geko-tan I believe it is called."

"…." _She's not planning to take a long bath is she??_

"I'll be needing those for awhile!" Was her happy reply to his silent question.

_She is…_

**Thud!**

"Stiyl!… Oh Stiyl!" Laura sang out, happily waiting for his reply.

When none came she poked her head back in. What she found was her red-haired servant lying on the ground with his face planted on one scorched spot on the carpet. The poor mage was down for the count it seemed…

… and partly leaking blood…

"Oh dear…"

~*(-)x(-)*~

Bubbles rose up, dodging a brown swaying object, before simply poping and vanishing. Within a tall glassed tank, cylinder in shape and constructed with resilient material, lived a man. His emotionless eyes stood staring at nothing while continuing to float at an odd direction. With his feet facing up the heavens and his head pointing down, anyone who would look at him would believe they were seeing some kind of lifeless floating corpse…

… which isn't entirely false…

It's perfectly justified if someone would accuse this floating man with long white hair to be dead and simply hovering in a tank… But that is if someone totally 'normal' would ever enter this 'dead man's' room.

Located within an enclosed structure entitled 'the windowless building' lies Aleister Crowley-- the founder and ruler of a city known as Academy City. A metropolis filled with technology 30 years ahead of its time and student citizens-- some of which were espers; humans who had undergone the Academy's Power Curriculum Program and have attained psychic powers. Many science facilities and Academic grounds dominated this technological city. Where does the electrical power source come from? Windmills… hundreds of em; scattered throught the city and working 24/7.

But enough about that…

A white screen suddenly appeared in front of the man. With beeping sounds of various tunes, the screen began to fill up with codes. After a few seconds it produced a single command.

**Please Enter Password_**

Aleister did not blink and simply allowed the beeping noise to continue.

…

**Access Granted**…

…

**Welcome Dr. Aleister Crowely_**

Not wasting a millisecond the Ruler proceeded through with his desired task. The friendly user interface worked furiously with him going over whatever problems or command that Aleister brought up. They eventually came to simple mailing program.

**Processing data**

…

…

**Analysis and protection scans complete-**

**-Accessing EC Transmission channel: 'Necessarius'-**

…

**Message from the following contact 'Laura Stuart' acquired.**

-

**Would you like to read it?_**

"Let us see." Said Aleister.

The computer complied and quickly went through a stream of data before forwarding it onto the screen. The process took no more then a millisecond and Aleister was already going over his 'text message' from Laura.

**Received at 2:09 pm at Monday, October 26, 2XXX  
****Sender****: Laura Stuart 'Nessarius'  
****Number****: XXX-XXX-XXXX**

**Message****:**

**Dear Aleister,**

**I'll get straight to the point. I accept this **_**'game' **_**of yours under the condition that our '**_**prized possession' **_**will come to no harm. And as you have requested in your letter, I shall send a number of our mages to participate in this event. Do pardon me if I bring a friend or two, however. I rather enjoy games with some companions, after all. Have a good day.**

**Sincerely,  
****Laura Stuart**

**P.S. Let us have tea and cake sometime.**

**Message end_**

With the end of that the ruler of Academy City closed the message and had the computer open up a number of windows. Now that he had received his conformation from Laura, preparations can now begin for their game. It will take a couple days to organize everything, _usually, _but considering his connections and rule over this large city the arrangements shouldn't take more than a day to complete.

**Opening Personal Network…**

He stared at the files and documents of one window and then glanced up at another where a live 'IM' was taking place. Words flooded down like an endless rain as he processed the information/reply of senders and answered back. Most of the panels within view were live feedbacks of video cameras. The bustling market district on one window, near empty scene of a science facility somewhere and many other relatively active parts of his city were all on screen for him to observe. One camera was watching one of the local banks and another inspecting a secured headquarters of the city police; _**the anti-skill**_.

For a normal person, keeping a track of the countless videos on display would be near impossible, but for Aleister Crowley, this was merely a simple task. It was like watching a movie with an absurd amount of scene changes with him processing each scenes equally and having no problems at all.

Was this boring? Possibly… Was this task horribly exhausting? To the Academy City Ruler… not. One. Bit. Every event happening within this high-tech Metropolis of his was never strenuous. And in some cases many interesting happenings often keep him amused.

Alternating between the hundreds of pop-windows, the ruler, stopped at one particular screen with numbers and figures; statistics and variables of sorts filling the entire space. Scrolling down, he stopped at a chart with elevating or escalating lines.

It was a money chart. And so far not much trouble has effected Japan's economy… his city included.

"Hmmm… I guess I have quite bundle to spare…"

Smiling slightly he called upon an A.I. to appear in his presence.

**Summoning A.I. **

**Computer Secondary U.I. Switching to inactive…**

**Set time till Activation: 4 hrs_**

With a resounding crackle, large numbers of 0's and 1's, green in cooler, carefully and intricately aligned itself in front of Aleisters vision. Not a second later the numbers vanished and within its place stood a similar upside-down humanoid frog wearing a mechanic's suit. With round black eyes contrast to the light green color of its digital skin, focused at it's summoner, the A.I. spoke politely.

"_How may I help you. Dr. Aleister Crowley?" _

"Bunta… Please manage our… _extra-funds_…" The white-haired ruler calmly instructed. "I will leave the distributions and most of the control of 'Phase-1' to you."

"_As you wish, Dr." _The A.I nodded curtly.

With his orders received the A.I. quickly began it's work. Brining up a large black screen with gray borders and green text, the A.I, Bunta, placed it below the current Camera-windows before minimizing it. Bunta then proceeded to go over the current programs up and about in front of Aleistors view.

Numerous windows minimized or winked out of existence leaving only 3 dozen running. Now that 'Phase 1' was beginning Aliestor could finally focus on simply surveying his city once more. He was confident that his A.I. could handle the work since he's used him for nearly a thousand times, perhaps maybe more.

Monitoring another camera-screen Aleistor took note of a certain boy with black spiky hair walking down the Marketing district near the underground mall. His attire consisted of an orange t-shirt underneath a black uniform jacket and a matching pants. Beside him an out of place 'sister' walked and talked energetically.

"I look forward to your progress in this game the most…" Aleister whispered. "Kamijyo Touma."

He continued to focus on the two's activity before moving on to another important matter.

"Bunta…" He called out. "Please forward me the profile's of the Esper candidates in our little game."

The A.I. croaked before replying. _"Right away, Dr."_

All the windows currently open disappeared as a large screen with a number of pictures of students and staff emerged. There were quite a number participating… and it was very pleasing to see who were chosen.

_"Dr…. Phase-1 is at 23.7% completion. All resources for 'the game' have been properly distributed. Green light confirmed for 'Game' Volunteer requests and all Corporations attending. Additional supplies are in transit… the ETA for the 'Saphire-Tech' cargo ships are 5 hrs."_ The A.I. paused for 0.9 seconds before continuing. _"They will be docking at hangar bay's 01, 05 and 06. Security forces are set to mobilize in 2 hours. Is there anything you would like to change?"_

"No." Aleister replied. "Just send the status report to my station, please. I would like to see them for myself."

"_Yes Dr. Transferring data now…"_

"Thank you."

"_Your welcome, Dr." _There was a pause. _"We appear to have a dozen intruders entering from the Northern gates. Shall I dispatch 'Judgement and Anti-skill?"_

Switching away from the status screen, Aleistor brought up 4 camera windows from the Northern sector.

"Hmmm…."

The so called 'intruders' were predictably mages… but from which organization… that he did not know. They bore no particular sign, accessories or insignias of any kind that would distinguish their allegiance. All they wore were deep black robes that hid their features completely... Except for one…

_Interesting…_

"_Dr. your orders?"_

"No, do not dispatch our forces, just place a tab on them." He ordered out loud his voice echoing in the vast dim room. "I believe a few of our guests has arrived early…"

"_Yes, Dr."_

Aleistor continued to look up at the traveling mages his eyes focused squarely on one particular figure whose red-hair caught his attention the most…

_You seem to be quite eager about this game of ours… huh, Laura Stuart…_

~*(-)x(-)*~

8 hours later…

Bunta returned to Aleistor's side and gave his final report for the day…

**Phase 1:**** Preparation**…**.complete…**

"_Phase 2 will soon begin..."_

~*(-)x(-)*~

* * *

**A/N: Ahhh! It's finally good to bring up my first TAMNI fanfic here. Hoped you enjoyed this story. The second chapter won't be up for awhile, but I can say that new stories from me will soon be up. I wasn't kidding in my poem when I said they will be up soon. I apologize if I used some vocabulary wrong and if there are tons of grammar mistakes! Please Read and Review =3 visit the TAMNI Forum's as well and submit your opinions. Laters all!**

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